Goodbye, Good Friend

I just got word that I’ve lost my cousin, my closest and dearest friend, to a harsh battle with Covid. Marcus Walker, you will be missed.

I really can’t put into words how much of an impact that Marcus made on the lives of so many people. Marcus was always there for you whenever you needed him. Sometimes, when you didn’t even know you needed him, he was there. He always knew the right things to say, and the right time to say them. Marcus was one of the few people that could take a difficult and emotional situation, break it down into logical, understandable portions, and bring comfort and peace of mind. He was truly a gentle giant.

Marcus is the reason that I am alive today. Both of us shared very similar life experiences, and many of those experiences were extremely difficult. From my earliest memories until just ten years ago, I can remember leaning on each other’s shoulders, in one way or another, as we tried to make sense of this life and its many difficulties. Though we were miles apart, he was always there, always by my side. During the worst years of my life, when I had reached the point where I felt there was no reason to live, he was there. He called me, every single day. Not a single day was missed until he was sure that I was past it. My wife, my children, and everyone who was counting on me never knew it at the time, but they were also counting on Marcus. He kept me going and helped me realize that life is so much bigger than myself.

Marcus and I took a much different pathway in life. He wasn’t what most of my peers would call religious, and I was deeply involved with religion. He was a simple man and had a simple way of helping me understand the much, much bigger picture in life. When I began to heal, he was still there for me. He knew that I had become so wrapped up in the complexities of my worldview that I had lost sight of the things that really mattered. When I finally got the nerve to ask him about religion, like everything else, Marcus broke it down into simple terms. “John, I believe in the ‘cowboy religion’. “What’s that, Marcus?” “It’s simple. Love God. Love your neighbors that aren’t trying to kill you. And be kind to animals”. It took me almost a decade to truly understand that phrase. I thought I did, several times. Each time, though, I found that I was adding too many extra details, and none of them really mattered. In the end, after I removed everything unnecessary from my worldview, I found that truer words could never be spoken. That’s really all that matters. Marcus helped me to understand that in most cases, the bigger picture is also the smallest, simplest picture.

Marcus, you will be missed. You were a friend when I had none. You were there when I needed you. You were the one who made me what I am today. And though I still have my many faults, you made me better. You are the reason I am here, the reason I do what I do, and the reason I will continue while I have breath to breathe. Every person I help, I pay it forward. Every person in need, I bring your gentle way forward. Your voice will continue to be heard, and your humble, faithful, peaceful nature will find its way into everything that I do.

Enjoy that cowboy heaven, Marcus. You’ve earned it.